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A House Divided, Then Multiplied
A House Divided, Then Multiplied is the ninth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 11 and the 234th episode overall. It aired on August 19, 2013. Characters Red Team *Sarge *Grif *Lopez 2.0 Blue Team *Washington *Tucker *Caboose *Freckles *Simmons *Church (Mentioned only) Other *Locus (in his perspective) *Meta (Mentioned only) Plot Grif returns to Red base and reports to Sarge that the Blues aren't planning anything, and that Simmons has decided to stay with them. Sarge overreacts upon hearing the news and believes that the Blues have betrayed them, captured Simmons, and that the Red vs. Blue war has started all over again. He then orders Grif to prepare an attack on the Blue team. Meanwhile, at Blue base, Tucker quickly becomes exasperated with Simmons' presence, as the latter consistently suggests several improvements for Blue Team. Washington soon returns and asks Tucker why he isn't doing his daily drills, resulting in a heated argument between the two. Tucker states that the Blues were doing fine before and questions why Wash has them undergo exercises for no apparent attack. Washington states that he just wants Blue team to be prepared for any potential threat, with Tucker replying that Washington is simply far too paranoid. As they continue to argue, an unknown figure observes them from afar with a sniper scope. Simmons then approaches them and informs Washington that he will be staying in Blue base for now, further exasperating the latter. Suddenly, Sarge and Grif attempt to ambush the Blues with the Warthog but crash into a rock, leaving both sides in a standoff. Grif then takes a moment to point out that the ambush wasn't his idea. Transcript Screen slowly fades out to a view of Grif running down towards Lopez. Grif: '''Hey, where's Sarge? '''Lopez 2.0: ¿Por qué me estás preguntando? Usted no habla español.are you asking me? You don't speak Spanish. Cut to a view of Sarge heading towards the duo. Sarge: Private Grif. I see you've returned from your reconnaissance mission unscathed. That's disappointing. Unacceptable. Lopez 2.0: Vaya...¿Qué tiene este tipo contra ti?What is this guy's beef with you? Sarge: So, what information have you recovered? Grif: Uh, that the Blues aren't up to anything and that you're a paranoid old man bordering on senility. Sarge: Uh huh. I'll take that into consideration Private. But how about we hear from our more competent soldier? ...Simmons? Grif: He's with the Blues. Sarge: With- the Blues? Grif: Yeah. He seemed really eager to stay at their base for some reason. Sarge: Huhh. Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time. Grif: A matter of time? Sarge: Yep. I knew this day would come. Grif: Really? You knew Simmons would eventually wanna leave the Red Team? Sarge: Leave Red Team? Grif, are you even paying attention? Grif: '''I mean, not really, I just th- I'd- '''Sarge: First they build a giant robot. Then they capture my second in command. It's just as I had predicted! The enemy has finally shown its true colours! And that colour is pound zero zero zero zero eff eff! Grif: What? Sarge: Blue! Blue! It's Red vs. Blue all over again! Grif: No, Sarge, they didn't capture him- Sarge: Can you believe it? Posing as our allies only to stab us in the back years after our conflict, had seemingly ended! They've pulled off the most elaborate ruse in the history of simulated military combat. Grif: '''I don't- '''Sarge: I mean really! How far back did they start planning this thing? Grif: You're not listening! Sarge: Like, did they know about all the Freelancers from the beginning? Grif: Sarge. Sarge: And what about Church? For years they told us he was a ghost, but then he was an ancient artifact or something and there were aliens involved I don't know. Sometimes I wonder just how deep this rabbit hole goes. Grif: Stop. Sarge: It's almost like all of this is some sort of sick game! Grif: ...This conversation is starting to get a little meta. Sarge: You're right. You think he was in on it too? Grif: I think you're jumping to conclusions. Sarge: '''And I conclude you need to shut your mouth and move your feet! '''Grif: What are you gonna do? Sarge: We, are going to do the Reds' signature Blood Gulch maneuver. Grif: Huhhh, oh no. Lopez 2.0: Me hace feliz saber que te ignoran tanto como a mí por aquí.makes me happy knowing you're ignored just as much as I am around here. Cut to Caboose, Tucker and Freckles outside Caboose: Okay Freckles, roll over! Freckles rotates 360 degrees at the waist Freckles: Objective complete. Tucker: That's cheating. Simmons: Hey Tucker! Tucker: What! Simmons: '''Do you have any idea when Wash is getting back? I have some suggestions regarding the upkeep of Blue Base. '''Tucker: I don't know and I don't care! Simmons: Well I got two words for you buddy: chore wheel. Tucker: '''And I've got two words for you. How 'bout fuck off? '''Simmons: Just think about it. Wheel of chores. Tucker: I hate my life. Washington: Tucker! Tucker: You know what, I take it back, I hate everyone else's lives. Wish they didn't have 'em. Oh my God, am I turning into Church? Washington: '''Why aren't you running drills? '''Tucker: How do you know I didn't already finish them? Washington: Because you're not on the ground complaining about irritated nipples. Tucker: I'm telling you, my chest piece rubs right up against them. And not in a good way. Washington: Why do you refuse to take these things seriously? Tucker: Why can't you just let us do our thing? Washington: I'm trying to make sure you're the best! That you're ready for anything. Tucker: Why?! Blue Team was just fine with being mediocre until you came along. What the fuck are you worried about? Washington: It's just a feeling I...can't explain it. Tucker: Really? 'Cause I bet I can. You're a paranoid, ex-special ops guy who's used to being betrayed on a weekly basis. Not much of a riddle Wash. Hey, next do you want to figure out the mystery of why Caboose isn't the team treasurer? Washington: '''angry Oh, so we're going there. '''Tucker: Oh-hoho bitch I already went there, and I took pictures. Caboose: Ooooh girrrrl. Washington: Well I can't say I'm surprised,'' Lavernius.'' You just always have to get the last laugh, mister quick-witted, mister sarcastic. If you spent as much time training as you do mouthing off, you could probably beat Freckles at arm wrestling! Tucker: Don't be stupid! Freckles doesn't have arms, he has guns. Caboose: And, paws! Freckles shake! Freckles lifts up one foot and takes a step forward, shaking the ground Caboose: Get it! He shakes! It's awesome! Tucker and Washington: Caboose! Caboose: Yeah, yeah we're still working on it. Simmons: Oh, hey Wash, I didn't know you were back. Washington: What is...why is he here? Simmons: I took the liberty of claiming the bunk closest to you. I hope you don't mind. Washington: I don't have time to deal with you right now, go away. Simmons: Eh heh, good one Sir. Oh hey by the way, is it cool if I start calling you Sir? Washington: Why is he still here? Tucker: Beats me. If I was him, I'd be as far away from this base as possible. Simmons: You can call me Champ if you want. Or you know... son. Tucker: 'Just ignore him. '''Simmons: '''Or Sir Junior. ''Cut to a view through a sniper scope '''Tucker: We don't need you protecting us! Washington: I know, that's why I'm trying to help you! Tucker: Help us with what, defending against attack?! No-one is going to attack us! Sarge: Attack! Grif and Sarge drive over a hill directly into a boulder Tucker: Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me. Sarge: Dammit Grif, you forgot our theme music. Grif: Oh, right. Grif turns on the radio Sarge: Ah forget it moment's passed. Freckles: Enemy soldiers detected. Caboose: 'Uh... good Freckles... No murdering everyone. ''The group form a standoff '''Grif: Uh, I would just like to take this opportunity to point out, that this, was not my idea. Whatsoever, at all. Gallery 11 900002.png 11 900003.png 11 900004.png 11 900006.png 11 900007.png 11 900009.png 11 900011.png 11 900012.png 11 900013.png 11 900014.png Trivia *The Warthog's Tejano music makes a brief return in this episode. *Sarge briefly breaks the fourth wall by wondering if the adventures the Reds and Blues had were just a big game, after which he stares at the camera. *Sarge correctly states the hex color code for blue: #0000FF. *Wash's speech about devoting more time to training instead mouthing off is a reference to the 2002 film Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones where Obi-Wan makes a similar statement to Anakin. Video Category:Episodes Category:Season 11